I’ll begin by stating that I am a white male who does not share your views, but even if I did, I would not behave the same as you.
This is because, believe it or not, you don’t share the views you profess to have either.
Bigots, white supremacists, any group that teaches hate over compassion, or superiority of one group over the next: I’m saying this now, you don’t believe what you claim to believe. If you did, there would be no need to march, no desire to silence those you claim are beneath you, no need to kick anybody out of anywhere.
None of this would matter because, if you were the superior group you claim to be, it would be unnecessary. Someone who is truly superior would put more energy into proving it, and not in denying others the opportunity to prove themselves. Someone superior would not be afraid of losing, because they would know they could not lose.
Yet, when you look at today’s modern fascists, what do you see? You see people who feel like they have no control over their lives, who want to eliminate other groups that are different because the world is changing around them and they are terrified. They are terrified they will fail at life, that the world is too crowded for them.
That is why they are cowards. That is why they hate, because they mistakenly believe their hate will free them from their situation. It won’t. You don’t make the pie larger by cutting it in half and throwing half of it away.
They want control over their lives and every day they are lied to. They are told if they join together in hate that they will have their lives back. They won’t. Hate only has the power to destroy. Hitler died alone in a bunker with a bullet in his skull. And the worst part about hate is that, even when you’re not alone, you feel alone. You feel empty and lost. That is what hate does.
You have a choice. You can choose to hate, or you can choose to let go. You can choose to cling to that which is dead, or you can choose to feel alive again. Fascists are modern day vampires. They only feel alive when they are destroying something. But that model cannot last. It inevitably means that nothing is left. Hatred will solve nothing.

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Welcome everybody to the second of my nine part series where I interview each of the nine personalities of the Enneagram. Click here to view my article on the One.

Today I am interviewing the Two, also known as the Helper/Giver. How are you today?

Wonderful! Thank you for asking!

My pleasure.

Here, would you like some tea? Coffee?

Oh ah…no thank you.

How about some lemonade? Cookies?

Oh, well…those cookies do look good. But…I shouldn’t.

I insist!

Well, if you insist. Thank you very much.

I aim to please!

I hear you take a lot of pride in that.

I really do. Pleasing others and making them happy is one of the great pleasures in life.

Why do you think that is?

Well, isn’t it obvious? Wait, I take that back. It’s not always that obvious to everyone, but it’s obvious to me. I mean, how can pleasing and helping others not be one of the greatest pleasures? Not enough people give their time, money, and energy to helping others. They spend their days miserable and they wonder why that is. It’s because they are missing out on some of life’s greatest joys!

What do you believe?

To really answer that, I have to first ask you a question.

Well, okay I suppose…

What’s the most important thing in the world?

Well, that’s a good question. There’s a lot of different ways to answer it-



Yes. Love is the most important thing in the world.

Love. That’s all?

Well there are other things…family, togetherness, generosity, children putting smiles on each others faces, but really all of things boil down to love.

Isn’t that oversimplifying things a little?

Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s not true. Besides, I’d hardly call love simple. Just an act as simple as giving a gift requires so much forethought. First, you have to get a feel for their personality, their likes and dislikes. Then, you have to probe to find out what kinds of things they already own. Then, if you’re buying multiple gifts, what I personally like to do is make a common “theme” between the gifts, you know, just to make it extra special. Does that really sound simple to you?

Well, no I guess not, when you put it that way. I guess acts of love are easy to learn but take a lifetime to master.

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

What would you say our your greatest flaws?

Well, I don’t like to admit this, but I sometimes try too hard. Sometimes, I throw my whole self into helping someone, and it just backfires. Either the person doesn’t want my help (even though they need it) or they take and take without giving back, without so much as saying thank you. You know, I don’t really “expect” people to love me back, but…it would be nice you know? To know you’re appreciated once in a while?I try not to take it personal when people act that way, but I’ll be honest. It hurts.It’s hard. I guess I sometimes set myself up for feeling this way, but I don’t care. I’m here to help people, and I’m not going to let a few insensitive jerks get in the way of that.

Some of your critics describe an additional negative quality.

Ugh, I don’t even want to know who. (sigh) Alright, what do they say?

Well, they say you’re manipulative.

What? How?

They say that when you do nice things or say nice things, you do it purposely to make others love you.

Of all the cynical things to say! It’s not like I’m a con artist trying to get money out of people! I try to treat others with as much love and kindness as I can. Is it really that out of line to expect the same from others?

So you don’t think you’re manipulative?

Look, if loving others so they love you back is manipulative, then I say I’m guilty as charged, and proud of it.

Isn’t the whole idea of love that it comes from the heart with no strings attached? If you expect loving behavior to return to you, doesn’t that rob people out of the chance to surprise you with truly loving acts?

Ugh. That sounds like something Four would say.

Sounds like you two don’t get along very well?

Errr, no. Not exactly. I mean, I try to get along, but…for one, she’s really quiet, and two, she’s kind of self-absorbed, sort of the opposite of what I aim to be. For me, I’ll dress or act in ways that I know will make people happy and bring smiles to their faces. Four, on the other hand, will behave or dress in ways that deliberately anger others, just to get a rise out of them. She is obsessed with this idea that she can’t fit in no matter what, and frankly, she doesn’t care what others think.

I try to be friends with her. Really, I try. I once invited her to a formal dinner party (big mistake) with a few of my friends. She showed up in this weird, almost goth-like attire, tattoes and piercings everywhere, and then she hardly socialized the entire evening. She spent most of the party huddled in a corner, writing what I presume was some poetry. Not really sure. Anyway, she hardly spoke five words. Now how can I make someone like her happy if she won’t even talk?

Tell me about your friends, one and three.

One is a good guy, and I like how he’s always willing to offer a helping hand. It’s a shame he’s such a stickler for the rules though. Don’t get me wrong. Rules are great and they help protect people, but One follows the rules even if the rules hurt people. Sometimes, doing the most loving thing involves bending the rules. We don’t always see eye to eye, but love and order do go hand in hand. It’s hard to treat others with love and dignity if they are fighting and attacking each other like animals.

What about three?

A lot of people think it’s strange that I’m friends with Three. At first glance it seems like we have nothing in common. I know he doesn’t seem to be of the most loving nature, but he can be when he wants to be. He can actually be a very helpful and generous member of society. It’s just that he sometimes does nice things to look good rather than, you know, out of a sincere desire to help people.

Three appeals to a different side to me. He understands that the occasional lie can protect people sometimes. He’s a great storyteller and fantastic guest. He just doesn’t always have much time. He’s always on the go. I sometimes wish he’d slow down and enjoy life a little, but it’s like life is a competition to him and he has to be the best.

Do you have anything else to add before we finish here?

Going so soon? Well, I would say the most important thing is to focus on what matters, spending time with your loved ones. Nothing is more important in my opinion. Now, before you go, why don’t you take the rest of those cookies home to your family?

Oh I couldn’t do that…

I insist! Besides, I have more in the oven!

Thank you.

My pleasure.